Healed to Heal (part 1)

artwork by Nikole Lim

Nikole (far right), Eunice and me at Freely in Hope‘s 6th Anniversary Gala

This photo, left, shows my friends, Nikole and Eunice, and me at a fundraiser last month for Freely In Hope, an organization working in places like Kenya to end the cycle of sexual violence.  Apparently I was one of the recipients of the Advocacy Award at this year’s anniversary gala.   A month later I still don’t fully understand why I was recognized. I simply showed up to this fundraiser.  So here I am on stage in a room full of other supporters who also showed up to this fundraiser.

Nikole did tell me later that she recalls the fact that I attended her Freely in Hope Mother’s Day event last year (and invited a bunch of friends) while I was still on daytime dialysis.  That meant I had to schedule my dialysis sessions around the trip across the Bay to the luncheon, after which I scurried back home to resume dialysis.  I don’t remember that, but okay.  Yay, me.  But looking at this picture, the color-loving side of me likes to think that Eunice and I in our dresses were meant to stand up there because we matched Nikole’s backdrop.

The theme for this year’s gala, Healed to Heal, must’ve also played a part.  As someone who’s survived kidney failure it’s inevitable that I now embody greater empathy for others.  And if you were at any of the churches where I have shared then you know that my kidney journey – the constant new findings, the struggle to stay positive, even my questioning of God’s intentions during the process – has resonated with so many.  We all need to know that we are not alone in whatever we are going through, that community is crucial, that the anxiety, stress, trauma that leaves us feeling alone does not happen in isolation; others feel it too.  (The Mud Story podcast reminds us we are never alone in our “mud”.)  Yet we have the tendency to retreat during personal trauma.  For a year, I resisted opening up about my need.  Marty kept pushing me towards sharing but I fought it.  But God worked his way through my resistance until I finally let go.  Now I realize that it is by letting others in on the journey that God uses it to restore us and others.

Nobody embodies that spirit of being healed to heal better than Eunice herself.  Her story is told on www.freelyinhope.org:

At 18, she had dreams of going to college, but being a woman [in Kenya], she was expected to sell donuts on the side of the road to earn a living for the family. So she pursued this dream alone, and on her way from the rural village to the universities in Nairobi she was drugged, raped, and impregnated. The stigma of rape left her abused, abandoned, and ostracized—she had nowhere to run.

Yet against all odds, despite the stigma surrounding survivors of sexual violence, Eunice was able to complete university and become a story of hope.  In my next blog post, I will share more of Eunice’s story.

In the meantime, I feel generally well. A persistent neck pain bothers me but motivates me to keep exercising and moving.   Sometimes I wonder if my prednisone also makes me a bit emotional, but I’m grateful for people who continue to encourage me.  In three weeks, I return to UCSF for a biopsy of Mr. Bean.

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Followup to my last blog:  Marty and I had a great time in Chicago.  Thanks for all your sight-seeing suggestions.  Our favorite activities?  For Marty it was the architectural boat tour.  For me, anything Frank Lloyd Wright.  And for both of us, dinner at Girl & the Goat.  Ask us how we scored a reservation there!