Oh that elusive Transplant Date that promised a pending arrival. As it turns out, it’s not coming anytime soon. After months of testing, some issues (health and otherwise) surfaced with my donor, and circumstances just didn’t allow for a kidney donation. My angel donor wanted so much to make this happen, and she’s heartbroken that she just couldn’t. For me, I’m feeling some disappointment and disbelief that we came so close to the finish line and couldn’t make our way across it – again. God keeps moving my finish line, and when I thought I was running a half marathon, He tells me He’s training me for a full one.
As for my donor, she is still my angel. In fact, unspeakable gratitude goes to both my potential donors who journeyed as far as they did with me. They were the heroes that came to literally offer a part of themselves to me when I needed it. They rallied a network of support for me, and submitted to months of being poked and prodded in what I’m sure was the most comprehensive checkup they’ve ever had. At the end, someone else was destined to run the final lap, but they got to relay the first legs. For that, I will be eternally grateful.
But God must know that my Faith muscle needs a good workout. In this unfolding story, a string of good and bad news, is an underlying theme that God is ever present. The week I lost my first donor, before that news was shared, a perfectly timed note of encouragement came in the mail. It was exactly what I needed to hear. And last week as I was sensing my second potential donor slipping away, and as I began to privately ponder about my options for another donor, an unexpected message popped up in my voicemail; someone was offering to be tested. I know now this particular journey may just be full of uncertainty, but God’s message to me was clear: Keep calm and carry on. He’s got it under control.
So now what? Well, I do have friends and family who are considering being tested. We’re making our way to a new start line, and I’m back in a season of waiting. In the meantime, Dr. Awesome Nephrologist is taking good care of me. He wrote me up a prescription for yet another new medication (more Target Pharmacy Rewards for me!) as he prepares me for dialysis. Even though I’m still functioning fine (no pain, headaches, nausea, or loss of appetite), my kidney function has dropped to 4%, and dialysis is inevitable. I’ve got a catheter placement surgery scheduled for next Tuesday, and I went in for pre-admission preparation yesterday. They extracted more blood samples, monitored my blood pressure (too high!!) and reviewed my meds before surgery.
So what exactly is this surgery if I’m not getting a transplant? It’s a simple, hour-long procedure to surgically place a catheter (rubber tube) in my abdomen so that the dialysis medicine can access my body. I imagine I’ll start in a few weeks, after the incision has healed. I’ll explain more about dialysis in my next blog post.
For now, I’m glad to be feeling well. I’m still attending kickboxing, twice a week if I’m good, though having trouble keeping up during class. Kidneys are that amazing that even my meager 4% is enough to keep me breathing and kicking. I hear dialysis can be a mixed experience for patients. Some leave with nausea, headaches, more fatigue as blood is pumped out and back into their veins. Others feel better as toxins make their way out of the body. My mother told me that some of those patients come out of their sessions singing.
I better start my vocal warmups now.
Hello Kidney! 